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    17. How to Say No Assertively to a Request for Your Time | Psychology Today

      Explore Psychology Today Lighter Side of Life , Mental , Physical , Social
      How to Say No Assertively to a Request for Your Time | Psychology Today

      You don’t have to be a leader to wrestle with saying no. Regardless of role, responsibility, title, or position, many of us find ourselves wanting to decline a request for our time, but we don’t know how to say no assertively.

      And yes, you can say no to a request, because a request is not a command. A request is an ask to which we can say 'yes', 'no' or make a counteroffer, while a command assumes an obligation. However, we often think of requests as commands, sometimes due to the tone in which the request is made, or a power differential, or our fear of the other person's reaction, or even a feeling of indebtedness. 

      Nevertheless, while we all know that “no” is a complete sentence when it comes to responding to a request, we often wrestle with being too passive (when we want to avoid ...

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    18. 14 Questions to Ask About the Quality of Your Relationship | Psychology Today

      Explore Psychology Today Lighter Side of Life , Mental , Social
      14 Questions to Ask About the Quality of Your Relationship | Psychology Today

      Boldly going where few psychologists may venture, however, Northwestern University’s Eli Finkel and colleagues (2014) have done just that by proposing that there are just 14 basic principles underlying all of psychology's relationship theories. The 14 gets reduced further, in addition, because they fall into 4 categories of questions concerning a different aspect of relationships ranging from their formation to their ending. 

      The underlying basis for this work is relationship science, or what the authors refer to as “an interdisciplinary field that employs diverse empirical methods to understand the initiation, development, maintenance, and dissolution of interpersonal relationships” (p. 384). These aren’t just any relationships, though, but are the ones people consider to be their closest.

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      Mentions: Northwestern University
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